Seven Rituals at Jewish Weddings explained

Happiness is blind to colour, gender, age or faith. We welcome everyone to Château du Jonquier to crown their personal love story with an unforgettable ceremony and celebration. While we have our own Chapelle de St. Andiol, and our medival market town has a beautiful, large church, there is also France's oldest and most famous Synagogue in nearby Carpentras, as well as the big Southern Terrace and lawn at the Château. That's a good reason to learn more about the rituals of a wedding held in the age-old Jewish faith.

A Chuppah can come in many designs. I like the simplicity of this one...

Way before the Ceremony:

In a joyous ritual before the ceremony, close family and friends surround the couple (who generally are in two adjacent rooms, so they do not see each other before the ceremony) with good cheer and blessings. Historically, this practice was known as Hachnasat Kallah (Celebrating the Bride) and The Groom’s Tisch (The Groom’s Table) and guests visited based on gender. Today, many wedding couples – both heterosexual and LGBTQ+ – no longer divide the practice by gender. Instead, guests move freely back and forth between both rooms, visiting separately with the partners and their families. Because learning plays a central role in Jewish tradition, one or both rooms may include some Torah study and, for those so inclined, a bit of celebratory drinking (why ever not?) and singing (Yes, please - the more cheer, the better!).

• Breaking a Plate: Historically, the two mothers breaking a plate symbolized the acceptance of the conditions of engagement (when it was a separate ceremony). It also symbolizes the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and foreshadows the breaking of the glass that is part of the wedding ceremony itself.

  
  

• Signing the Ketubah: Historically, a ketubah (marriage contract) was a legal document that protected the bride’s rights and thus was her possession. Signing the ketubah is one of the oldest Jewish wedding traditions, dating back two thousand years. Today, the text often expresses the couple’s commitment to care for one another and to create a Jewish home together. This often takes place in a separate, more intimate ceremony immediately prior to the wedding ceremony. The Ketubah might be read out aloud later on.

  
  

• Bedeken (Veiling): Bedeken means “checking,” and some say this ritual has its roots in two biblical narratives. Today, if a bride chooses to wear a veil, at some point before the ceremony – either before for after the processional – her intended places the veil over her face.

  
  
  
  

During the Ceremony - celebrating family and togetherness

• Chuppah : The ceremony takes place under a wedding canopy, which represents God’s sheltering presence in the lives of the couple, as well as the new home they will build together. The presence of family members under the chuppah, as well as its lack of walls, signify that family and friends will always be welcome in the couple’s home. How lovely is that?

• Circling: Among Ashkenazi Jews (those from eastern and central Europe), it is customary for one partner to circle the other seven times before entering the chuppah, alluding to the seven days of creation and as a reminder that marriage is itself a process of creation. In a contemporary update, many heterosexual and LGBTQ+ couples choose to circle each other three times, adding one final circle together. This modern interpretation is so lovely!

• Breaking the Glass: At the end of the ceremony, it is customary for one, and sometimes both people in the couple, to break a glass. There are many interpretations of this ritual. Some consider it a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in the first century, for even at the height of personal joy, we must not forget the tragedies the Jewish and world communities have endured. Others explain that the fragile glass reminds us of the delicate nature of marriage, which must always be cared for and cherished. At the sound of the breaking of the glass, guests traditionally clap and chant “Siman tov” and “mazel tov,” Hebrew phrases that offer congratulations and good luck to the couple.

  
  

  

  
  

After the Ceremony - Let's celebrate

• Seudat Mitzvah (The Wedding Feast): According to Jewish law, wedding guests are commanded to celebrate, to have fun, and to increase the joy of the couple on their wedding day. There’s no more joyful way to do this than with dancing, including the hora, a traditional Jewish circle dance. During this dance, the wedding couple often will be lifted up and carried in chairs around the dance floor as part of the celebration of their marriage.

  
  

I love these rituals, which bridge the sacred spirit of holy matrimony with the earthy joy of living and feasting together. I already look forward to hosting many Jewish weddings at our beautiful baroque bijou in the heart of Provence. Many many congratulations and all the best for your life together!